Many people with an anxiety about closeness donâ€™t know where it exactly comes from, in accordance with household and couples therapist Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT. But typically, it really isnâ€™t a result of perhaps not planning to be in deep love with somebody, by itself. Rather, it is a mask for a fear to be harmed. And what can cause that anxiety about being hurt? Well, it often attracts from an childhood experience that is early.
â€œThey believe that being guarded and protected could keep them safe from heartache and loss. Itâ€™s simpler to be refused or abandoned. when they donâ€™t get invested,â€ â€”Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT
â€œUsually experiencing injury either in a relationship with an early on caregiver or somebody else crucial may cause individuals to be guarded and stay emotionally distant,â€ says Thompson. â€œThey believe that being guarded and protected will keep them safe from heartache and loss. When they donâ€™t get spent, itâ€™s more straightforward to be rejected or abandoned.â€
And even though having a concern about closeness may share the exact same characteristics to be counterdependent, thereâ€™s a softer part of the afflicted that nevertheless really craves truly connecting with another individual, also though doing this in training is hard to complete.